Thoughts: My Secret Struggle

Hi guys,

I have debated with myself for a long time about whether to publish this blog post. I rarely ever debate with myself this long over any blog post. Usually within a few hours (or days, for a longer post), it's written , photos added and the publish button is hit before sharing on my social media sites without too much of a second thought. It is a personal blog post, more personal than even the skinny shaming one I have written. But I felt like this needed to be posted.

I'm a 23-year-old woman, normal in a lot of ways. I'm a university student studying the course of my dreams, I have a weekend job, I'm obsessed with makeup and all things girly and love my family and friends to bits. I love to read all kinds of books, from literary greats to romantic novels, listening to the latest music playlists added to Spotify (as well as the cheesy songs playlists) and I love to write in my blog. But anyone that has ever got close to me knows that I also have another side and that side is my battle with anxiety.

The reason I decided to write this blogpost was not only to talk openly about my own experiences with anxiety in the hope it may let somebody in the same situation know they are not alone in their struggle, but really, it's to give you some insight on what it's really like to live with anxiety, everyday.

One of the biggest misconceptions about anxiety is that it is worrying. Yes, it is, but it's a lot more than that. Most people worry about things like exams, and that is perfectly rational. There's the fear that you may not progress to your next year of study and lose funding, all that. With anxiety, I worry, but at a much more heightened degree. It can be anything that can trigger me off. I think of the time I left the hair straightener on when I was at home three years ago and start panicking at university thinking I did the same thing this morning before I dashed off to my lecture. I can be asleep in bed and suddenly wake up, convinced the house is going to go on fire, despite there being numerous fire alarms all over the house. I find a mark on my arm and wonder how that got there, suddenly panicking that it's skin cancer. I think of the time I was 15 that some girl called me "ugly" and suddenly don't want to go on that night out I have been excited for, gradually convincing myself over the course of the evening that people will laugh and make fun of me for being so ugly. As you may have guessed, common sense is not on my side when I go through these "episodes" and along with my naturally stubborn nature, there is not one thing that can convince me otherwise.

People often assume that panic attacks and anxiety go hand in hand, that is not true either. I've never had a panic attack in my life and if I tremble, it's only for a short time. It is however, very physically draining. I usually have the worst episodes at night time with all these thoughts rushing around in my head, and it can be 6 or 7am before I realized I haven't managed to sleep at all. This insomnia only leads to me feeling anxious the following day, before having another episode that night, and this may go on for weeks. It often makes me feel physically sick in my stomach, not wanting to eat. It makes me so tired and lethargic that I sometimes struggle to get out of bed, let alone take any pride in my appearance.

My university work has thankfully never suffered as a result of my anxiety, because I genuinely can say hand on heart, that I absolutely love the course that I'm doing at the moment and it sounds cheesy but I believe I was made to do it. Things that may worry the average student, like assignment deadlines, usually never bother me because I'm one of those strange, strange people that actually enjoy writing assignments. But, I could barely sleep the weekend before I went on my first placement in early March, terrified I wouldn't gather the 'right' information from the patient, or do something cringe like say something idiotic in front of all the professionals present. The first week there was not only physically demanding, from running up and down stairs to wards with wheelchairs and what not, but mentally demanding as I was convincing myself I was going to fail it and would have to re-do it in the summer, meaning I wouldn't get to go home to Ireland.

As you might guess, friendships are difficult to start and maintain. I'm a natural introvert, which usually can be presumed the reason behind why I tend to be quite shy around people, when really though I'm worrying about what to say, what I look like, how I'm coming across. It's all heightened when anxiety starts spending a bit too much time with me, leaving me sleep deprived and generally worn out. It convinces me that I'm simply not worthy enough to be somebody's friend, that they deserve better than me, and that they are probably bitching about me anyway. I think about the time I said something silly a year ago. They're probably still talking about it, about what an idiot I am and I know they probably don't like me that much anyway and are just hanging around me because they're bored and have nobody else. This leads to un-returned phone calls and text messages, as well as the awkward silences when we pass each other on the street. Which only serves to add more fuel to the burning out of control fire that is anxiety in my brain: they really don't like me at all.

Relationships are even more difficult. Again, they start the same way, and anxiety causes me to be scared of what I look like and how I'm coming across to someone. Anxiety notices I'm becoming happy and comfortable with a guy but it reckons it needs to make its presence even more obviously known, determined to ruin things. Often I've dated guys who have exams and work and are genuinely otherwise occupied. However, anxiety convinces me that they don't like me, that they are just dating me because they are bored. But when you're in a relationship for six months or a year and you're still having to ask someone whether they like you or not, it becomes less cute and more of a strain. They don't consider the fact if I care for and eventually fall in love with someone, I will support them through virtually everything and anything. They usually only view the clingy girlfriend I become.

Some people try and help me. The most common thing I've heard is to "calm down", but it's safe to say it won't work, so don't even waste your breath telling me this. When I'm going through an episode, sleep deprived and on the brink of collapsing due to a virtually non existent appetite, I get angry. I start crying in front of people (which I don't ever like to do). I say things in the spur of the moment I later regret that genuinely hurt the people who care for me the most; the people that would do anything to make me happy, even if it means sacrificing their own happiness. Apologies come later, but often people don't understand why I've reacted the way I have, and so they rarely ever work. Anxiety is like that selfish person that just wants you to spend all of your time with them, alone with your thoughts. I've been labelled a drama queen, an attention seeker, a self-absorbed bitch among other terms that only heightens my condition even more so, without people realizing that all I need in these times is just cup of tea and maybe a hug or a cuddle.

I've been prescribed medication, with varying degrees of success. They usually make me feeling like I'm so relaxed and have no concerns, feeling numb and devoid of any feeling, or the opposite end of the scale: so utterly hopeless that I feel my anxiety is taking over my life and feeling so very depressed that I sometimes feel like everything is going wrong. I feel guilty, I think why am I feeling these thoughts: from the outside world and to even myself, I know I have a lot more in my life than most people could ever imagined; a family that love and support me (even throughout the crazy decisions), friends that are always available for a chat and a few laughs (even if that is via Skype) and the chance to study the course I've always wanted to do. I haven't used medication in quite some time though for those reasons, and so I try to deal with anxiety in the most natural ways possible; that is, distracting myself with something that relaxes me, like writing in my diary or blog, reading or simply meeting up with friends. It's super important for me to always remain busy, and not give anxiety time to spend with me.

I didn't write this blog post to be pitied or have people feel sorry for me, because I don't think that's what anyone with anxiety or any other mental illness or indeed physical illness wants to be treated.

I wrote this because I genuinely want others to know what it's really like. There are changing opinions on mental illness; people are openly talking about their struggles with depression on social media and I for one am really pleased about this. But like I said, there are way too many misconceptions regarding anxiety and many people simply struggle to realise just how debilitating it really is, brushing it off as "everyone worries". That's a concerning thought because 1 in 6 young people in the UK, from all different backgrounds and walks of life, currently suffer with anxiety. Anxiety is often viewed as the "less severe" of mental illnesses because like myself, people can live a relatively normal life with it. But it's definitely not "cute" to be stuck with it. I may smile and put on a bright pink lipstick but like the way your lipstick hides your natural lip colour, this smile only serves to hide what's really just bubbling beneath the surface.

I've just had a week of re-occurring episodes of anxiety. I don't even know what triggered it. Maybe it was general bad nutrition over the duration of the placement. Maybe it was just plain old exhaustion from the long shifts and the travelling each day. But I had just finished placement and was elated at the news that I had not only passed it, but got a really high grade in it too. I was happy and was delighted to have two weeks off uni to relax.

Why then, did anxiety turn up to ruin things? One day I was fine, then the next day I was barely sleeping or eating, constantly thinking very irrational thoughts, worrying about the most trivial things. yet I somehow managed to pull myself together by Friday and eat and sleep properly before dragging myself into work and complete long and tiring shifts over the course of the weekend. I smiled and joked with my colleagues. I did my weekly food shop earlier today and attempted to dye my hair. But inside, I was more damaged than my bleached hair, trying to repair what emotional damage had been done over the course of the week.

Anxiety is as much a part of me as is this blog, and will continue to be for the rest of my life.

Although I'd rather not have it, it has taught me a few things: despite what anxiety has you inclined to believe, there are people who genuinely care about you regardless, and those are truly the people that will make things so much easier to bear.

If nothing else, anxiety has given me a heightened sense of empathy. I worked with a patient on my placement who had anxiety. She wasn't taking her medications because she said she had experienced some of the not-so-pleasant side effects I mentioned above, so she was labelled as being "difficult" by some of the staff. I decided to get out of my comfort zone and try to speak to this lady, and put my anxiety aside for a minute to try and help her with hers. Despite her obvious anxieties, I didn't try and reassure her because I knew from my own personal experience that would be pointless and falling on deaf ears. Instead, I thought about what helps me the most when I'm anxious. I asked her how she liked her tea and came back with two mugs for us, while we sat and spoke about our lives. She told me about her mischievous grandson, her travelling adventures around Europe with her husband (she told me they had been to Ireland and loved it), and her two dogs. I went to see her every day for about an hour over the duration of the placement but on my last week, she was about to be discharged. As I left that day, she took my hand and said "Thank you for listening to me." I smiled; I hadn't really done anything except for sitting down with her for a chat with a cuppa. Yet I realised that that was what was most needed.

Despite it, I'm so very determined to not let anxiety control me. I'm may have not slept or ate very well due to it last week and other days, but I will still get up, do my makeup and hair, and go into uni or work and do whatever I have to do. I'm aware I have a very mild form, but even so sometimes that makes life difficult, but I still do whatever I have to do and I will do it with a smile. To quote Rocky Balboa, Life "ain't about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and still keep moving forward."

I know people will judge me differently because of this post, but the way I see it, that's irrelevant to me. We all have a mental health and it needs to be looked after just as well as physical health. To be honest, the only people whose opinions I care about are the people who care about me and the people who are close to me and are a part of my life at the moment and they are some pretty amazing people; other people's opinions simply don't matter. And this blog post like I said, isn't really about me. It's about all those who suffer in silence each day, with a more severe form of anxiety that I have, struggling for breath, worried, feeling hopeless, fighting this invisible illness. I honestly think people that suffer with invisible illnesses are the bravest people in the world. I wish I could meet all of you and share a mug of tea with you and give you a hug and tell you that somehow, everything is going to be OK.

Thanks for reading xxx

Thoughts: What truly is living life to the fullest?

Hey guys, and welcome back to my blog!

As some of you are probably aware, I have been taking a break from blogging from the past few weeks as I've been on my first 'proper' clinical placement as part of my course, in the elderly rehabilitation ward in a busy hospital. It's a bit of a deep post, even for me, but one I felt oh-so-compelled to write.

We're told that death is as fundamental a part of a life as birth. Every living creature that has ever walked this earth will one day, pass on. It's an inevitability that will come for each one of us one day regardless of our nationality, wealth, sexual orientation and gender.

You can die at any age of course, but obviously your chance of dying increases the older you get, and this is something that the elderly patients and their spouses are so aware of.

Over the duration of the placement, I frequently worked with patients that were entering or had entered end of life care. Honesty comes to the fore front as there is literally no time left for anything else. Most of the time, the patient will say that they are satisfied with the way their life turned out - they married, they had children, they had a good career, they traveled to exotic parts of the world.

But there is the unsatisfied patients. The laments. The sadness of a life gone by. They spent more time in the office than travelling the world. They didn't get the chance to fall in love and spend the rest of their lives with someone who loved and cared for them. They didn't spend enough time with their children because they were more concerned with making more pounds.

Perhaps it's morbid, but I couldn't walk out of that ward without reflecting on my own mortality; not necessarily about death itself but more about not living while you're still alive.

It's a cliché, but I often see these quotes similar to the one I've posted below on social media about "living life to the fullest" and "not having any regrets". I wonder really how many people actually live by these quotes, or are they just something posted to gain more likes? What really is living life to the fullest and not having any regrets?

I suppose it's difficult when you're still alive and in relatively good health to not really think too much about the inevitability of death; after all, we have what often feels forever left. Tellingly, on the train journey home each day from placement, I noticed the abundance of  people glued to their mobiles or laptops, completely disengaging with their companions or even the beautiful breathtaking view of the mountains passing us by, more focused on what was happening on social media sites than in the present moment. But sometimes, it may be a good idea to remind ourselves an odd time that we are not immortal, we are fragile, and human, and as much as we'd like it to be, our lives are not infinite. It's all worth bearing in mind that our lives could end tomorrow. In my opinion, I believe that most people do not live their lives to the fullest due to fear and consequently,  reach the end of their lives with regrets and these laments I've mentioned I saw all too often on hospital wards.

I'm a person that doesn't believe in regrets. Perhaps that's something that has come with time. Of course I have little regrets, the ones everyone has, like regretting I ate that massive takeaway or drank too much the other night, but they rarely last more than a day. I don't regret big "life changing" stuff. Sure, I've been in some situations I'd not like to be in again, and made some decisions that probably weren't the best but looking back, they taught me something, and at the time, they made perfect sense to me and if given the chance, I'd probably end up making the same decisions all over again. Even the most awful relationships or the most difficult time in your life teaches you things, and for me personally, I believe difficult times teach you more life lessons than 'good' times in your life, if only to learn from them for future reference (though in reality, that's easier said than done).

For those who may not know me personally, I'd describe myself as being quite a shy person around people I don't know all that well. It's usually down to a fear of embarrassing myself. It usually takes a couple of months before I start becoming very comfortable around people (and let my inner weirdness show). So even though I'm studying to be a health professional, the thought of placement where I'd have to communicate with strangers on a daily basis was enough to send me into a complete tizzy. But I knew it was something I had to  do and if I didn't do it, I wouldn't be able to do my dream career and live my life to the fullest. So what if I embarrassed myself in front of the patients? I'd dust myself off, and try again, I was (and still will be everyday) still learning. I certainty didn't want to be that person at the end of my life lamenting I hadn't been able to do the career I wanted to because fear happened to get in the way. Instead, I wanted to be the person that said I took a chance that not only gave me the satisfaction of having achieved my goals of a career but also a career that would help others reach their independence and learn to cope with their fears and their anxieties.

Another example I'll give you is with relationships. So many people are secretly in love with someone else, but afraid to tell them how they truly feel because of the fear of being rejected and possibly being grounds for humiliation.  It's not easy, but I always try to be as completely honest as I can about what I'm feeling about someone. If there's even the slightest inkling that I may have feelings for someone, I will act on it. I have a severe case of hopeless romantic which unfortunately means I'm more awkward and more nervous around someone I actually like, and which also means usually the person has sussed I feel something for them before I get the chance to be all gushy about it (usually over text, ah romance in the 21st century). No, not all of my declarations of love have ended up in happily ever after and contrary to what people may think, I have been rejected a bunch of times, but at the very least I was aware of where I stood (sometimes) and what if I brushed my fear aside for a moment and took a chance and it led to really being happy ever after? In that case I think it would be very worth it. Not saying that life is a Disney movie by any means, but it can be in certain areas.

I could give you dozen more examples of fear getting in the way of truly living your life, and these range from as something as simple as swimming in the sea to not wearing that beautiful dress. In each of these situations, place a hand on your heart and think to yourself: "I only have one life. It's simply now or never." Think of yourself at the end of your life, you certainty don't want to be having regrets of any sort attributed to fear.

Thank you for reading xx

Shelly Says So is 1 Year old!

Today, 3rd March 2016, is the day my little fashion, beauty and lifestyle blog Shelly Says So, turns one year old. I literally cannot believe it has been a year since I published my first ever blog post (see HERE). At the risk of sounding like an auld wan, where is the time going?!

My first blog post - 3rd March 2015

Recalling the time I started my blog to now - 67 blog posts later - in hindsight there are a few things I know now that I wish I'd known back then - basically what I have learned about blogging.

Blogging is hard!
There are many misconceptions about blogging. I probably had a few of these before I started myself. One of these was the notion that it was "easy" - it is definitely not easy! Even for me - who just does it as a hobby - it is time consuming. I sometimes find it difficult to find time to write blog posts with uni work and general life stuff getting in the way. Makeup posts are somewhat easier to write about, but for posts relating to lifestyle issues like mental health awareness in May (see HERE) or my skinny shaming post a few weeks back (see HERE), a simple descriptive post just won't do and so the research that goes into it is immense.

Don't go blogging for the free stuff!
If you go into blogging purely because of the expectation you'll receive free stuff, then you shouldn't bother at all. In the year that I have been blogging, even though my average views per post are quite reasonable and I have a decent social media following, I have not received one free thing. This is a personal thing mostly: I don't feel like a blogger is really able to give a 100% honest review if they have been paid to do so. I don't necessarily like doing harsh reviews, but sometimes I feel like it's necessary and it's uncomfortable when bloggers rave about a product when it's so obviously shit. I have recently started to promote a company, but I bought an item from them to promote, I didn't actually receive the item for free.

R: Easter Sunday Outfit and Makeup of the Night - HERE

The blogger network is so super supportive!
I have been overwhelmed with how supportive fellow bloggers are worldwide. When you first start blogging, it sometimes can be scary putting your writing out there to essentially be judged, but the support is amazing both from male and female bloggers. A lot of the time the support is conveyed via social media but that doesn't make it any less value. Sometimes it's something like a simple comment of encouragement on your actual blog or a reply to your Facebook saying "thanks for the review, I'll have to try it out" that mean so much. Those are the things that encourages you to continue blogging.

Be prepared for the backlash!
The Internet is an amazing creation, there is no doubt about that. But when you're putting your writing out in a public arena, it's going to be judged. Sometimes that means that it won't be judged in the erm, nicest of ways. I can take constructive criticism, but I won't be OK with someone being abusive to me. In my home country Ireland, abortion is illegal even under medical circumstances which is something I thoroughly disagree with. I don't necessarily agree with abortion, but what I do disagree with is Irish women not been given a right to what happens to their own bodies and the fact that they have to travel to the UK, incurring more expenses and risks, in order to receive an abortion. I saw an interesting post by a fellow blogger on the subject and shared it to my Facebook blog page. Within hours, I had got an extremely abusive message to the page from a middle aged 'lady' who obviously took great delight in saying that I was basically promoting murder and I really shouldn't comment on Irish matters because I'm now living in the UK. It was one of those moments I questioned my future in blogging, but thanks to my friends and the wider blogging community, I realised that I wouldn't - and shouldn't - let someone's ignorant opinion stop me from doing something I really enjoy, and I'm still here, so I didn't.

Write about what YOU want to write about, always.
 One of the most important things you'll realise as a blogger is it's really important to write about things you want to write about it. For one, you'll find it easier to write about something if you really are passionate about it. This sounds so cheesy, but it's really important to be true to yourself - if you're writing about topics just to be scouted by some company to get some items for free, that's really not being you. Even though what I blog about may not get me a lot of views or the nicest of comments, it's far better that I publish what I want rather than something that's so obviously not me, but to be fair, that goes with pretty much everything I do in my life. I wear what I want to wear, I say what I want to say (not always possible). You are individual, so while it's nice to take inspiration from 'famous' bloggers and even 'regular' bloggers, you are not their copy. Your style and approach may be completely different, so just do your own thing!


Above: Clashing Prints Outfit of the Day - HERE

Some of my more popular blog posts:

• My Skincare Routine - HERE
• Blue Smoky Eye and Nude Lips Makeup Tutorial - HERE
• 10 Products Under €10 - HERE
• Review of 5 Penneys (Primark) makeup items - HERE
• 20 Random Facts about Me - HERE
• Spring Time Girly outfit - HERE
• 5 Wardrobe Staples every Girl should Have - HERE
• My Dip Dye and Hair Care Routine - HERE
• Spring Time Outfit of the Day - Florals and Leather HERE
• Caring For Dry Skin - HERE

I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has ever read my blog - it really does mean so much to me! Hope you all stick around for the years to come.

I also want to mention that due to undertaking a five-week placement for my course starting Monday, so therefore (because my degree comes first), I will be taking a break from blogging for that time. But don't worry - I have some really great blog posts lined up for you which I hope you'll check out in April when I'll be talking to you next.

Thank you for reading xxx

Beauty - Review of Lush Cupcake Face Mask

Hey everyone!

Before I start, I'd just like to say a massive THANK YOU to everyone who checked out my last post on Friday 12th February last, about skinny shaming. Despite my initial concerns,  I got a very positive response towards it and managed to acclaim over 200 views in just a few hours. Although for me, the best thing was random strangers messaging me saying thank you for posting it and "finally someone gets me". It's nice to know that sometimes. If you haven't checked out you can do so HERE

Anyways, cracking on with this blogpost that has been in my draft folder for what has felt like forever!

Lush are a cosmetic and haircare company that make all fresh handmade products. I absolutely adore their products, because as well as being ethically friendly and against animal testing, they're kind to sensitive skin. Unfortunately, I haven't used too many of their products, because of one simple reason: they're a tad expensive and I prefer to just use cheaper options that do the job just as well. But I couldn't resist anymore and just before Christmas, popped into the Lush here in Carlisle.

At the time, my skin was massively stressed out, with random breakouts all over and a forehead that seemed to be producing enough oil to make a fry on. Makeup unfortunately wasn't making the situation any better (and was sometimes even making it worse, see why HERE), and while I was making adjustments to other areas in my life, such as attempting to get enough sleep (which wasn't the easiest task when you are in university all week and working all weekend) and trying to stress less (again, not the easiest when you have assignments coming from you at all angles), and drinking water, I wanted a quicker option.

If you've ever walked into a Lush store, you know that in most Lush stores that their customer service is second to none. You're barely in the door when you have an eager member of staff up to you to ask you do you need any help, or need any skincare advice, and this was no different. A lovely lady talked me through some of the options I could try out, but it was so hard to decide because they all smelled so good. Literally was just smelling everything for like a half hour - haha! Eventually I decided on the Cupcake facemask I'm going to review in this blog post. As it's made for teenage skin, the lady said it would calm my breakouts and soak up any excess oils on my face, plus my friend at uni tried it out a few weeks before and her breakouts disappeared and her skin was glowing after just a few uses.

So the cupcake facemask contains cocoa butter, linseed and cocoa powder which claim to soften while peppermint and spearmint and sandalwood oils add a hint of freshness to your face. It really does smell like a chocolate cup cake! Sooo good. I usually slathered this all over my face once a week to help me relax. If stored in the fridge, it will stay good for a few weeks. I really liked the  It smells beautiful even when on your face and means it is so cooling and refreshing when applied. It didn't sting at all when first applied, but can be quite messy to work with so make sure you have something to wipe your hands after. It instantly felt refreshed. I usually left it on for ten minutes, after five minutes you can feel it drying in your skin and may find it difficult to move your face, which is an odd sensation! When I took it off, my skin felt instantly refreshed, although I did have to use some moisturiser after as my skin is quite dry also.

However, despite the obvious positives, I'm not convinced it did a great job of getting rid of any breakouts, though to be honest. Maybe my expectations were quite high after spending nearly seven quid on it (£6.80 to be exact). Or maybe just maybe my skin was too tough of a job to do anything on. I'm well aware that this may appear like a "bargain" compared to many other skincare brands, but for me personally, I'm not sure would I be parting with my money for this product again.

What do you think? Have you ever used Lush products? Let me know xxx

Thoughts: Skinny Shaming

Cheryl Cole is a successful singer. After finding fame with Girls Aloud on Popstars, she has quite impressively managed to carve out a very successful solo career, with four albums under her belt, as well as a contract with L'Oreal, fashion and makeup credentials.

She came back on The X Factor judging panel after months of speculation and attended an audition in Manchester a few months ago. She popped a photo of herself wearing a black crop top and trousers on Instagram at the time and received a furore of abuse, being called a 'bag of bones' and what not.
Naturally, Cheryl could not help but respond in her usual fiery Geordie demeanor. I've attached a screengrab of her reply on Instagram for you to check out.

Cheryl did look slim, but hasn't she always? I'm not her biggest fan, but I personally thought her outfit was very cute and suited her, and I loved her hair and makeup.

But most importantly, Cheryl's reply - other than being a source of entertainment for tabloids to gossip about - got me thinking about the whole issue around "skinny shaming" - where women are critised for their slim physiques. Contrary to popular belief, it's not just plus sized women who are being body shamed and made feel ashamed of their body figures. I felt it was a personal issue for me as I am slim, too - probably even slimmer than Cheryl.

So often, people think they are paying me some kind of inverse compliment by saying I look thin.

"You have it easy" is the one comment I hear a lot, along with "You're so lucky, you don't need to go to the gym." I respond to these comments by asking firstly, "what do you define as having it easy?" Do you define it as not going to the gym? Yes, I do go to the gym, but because from studying health and fitness at college I realise the importance of keeping fit and healthy and the enormous benefits it brings to my heart, bones and muscles.Yes, I'm well aware that many people go to the gym for the intention to lose some excess weight, but plenty of people like myself go to the gym to simply get fit and get the heart rate pumping. I don't see it as a chore like many people do either, or that it's "hard work". I see it as something necessary for my health, like taking a shower, or brushing my teeth, that not only improves my mood and freshens my mind short term but may help to prevent some health issues further down the line too, so while people may say I'm "lucky" for "not having" to go, I think otherwise.

People struggle to understand that as a slim person, you may have insecurities too. The notion is completely foreign to many of them. It may come as a surprise, but many actually do have a lot of insecurities, many of these about our bodies, like pretty much every other human being on the planet. When I was a teenager, thanks to the influence of the media and the rise of "team curvy", I did feel quite insecure about the way I looked. These days, at the age of 23, after recognising that self-loathing really doesn't help and after a lot of growing up and realisation to do, I think I've started to finally accept my body shape the way it is. Don't get me wrong - there are some days I'd love a better bust or an arse to rival the Kardashians, if only to fit into string and strapless dresses, but I try to focus on the positive aspects of my body, and forget the rest. Having said that though, it isn't always the easiest thing to do, and it's something I'm continually working on.

The genes that I inherited from my mother's side mean that I have an incredibly fast metabolism; my mother was the same when she was my age. I went through a massive growth spurt when I was twelve that has just kept on going and has also contributed to keeping my weight at a constant slim level. I don't diet, no, but I do like to eat a balanced diet. With university and work, that isn't always possible - there are some weeks where I live off pasta and pizza and I am addicted to Haribos Starmix sweets - but generally I make an effort to prepare salads or a healthy stirfry as I can really see the benefits in my skin, hair, nails and overall health and have tons more energy (to get these pesky essays done!). I disagree with the use of "diets" anyways. I firmly believe eating little and often, with a good selection of food groups, drinking plenty of water and trying to avoid the bits like chocolate, sweets, pizza and alcohol till once a week, does a better job with both maintaining your weight and works wonders for your health too, rather than these stupid diets, many of which have been proven inconclusive and damaging to not only your physical but your mental health.

I realise that people are people, and by nature, have opinions. I would even go as far as to say that I'm a very opinionated person. But everything I have an opinion on is backed up by cold, hard facts. Even when I wrote about my thoughts on women's rights and abortion debate in my home country Ireland, I wrote about it in a very objective way, keen not to take one side or another side and to not insult anyone that may disagree or agree with the use of abortion, because after all, I don't want anyone to become insulted by what I write. I know it may not appear so, but why I write these "thoughts" blog posts is not to rant, trust me.

But what I can't handle is the way people can be so very forward with their opinions, especially on social media, and for the most part, it's not always in a nice way and completely lacking some kind of facts or concrete evidence. They often feel it's their duty to tell slim people they don't really know (like the person who didn't know Cheryl), to "fatten up and eat a burger" or that they look "sick and ill".

I feel like saying to these people who tell slim people to "fatten up" - "thanks for the concern", but who or what made you their personal nutritionist or mother?

It's even more appaling for me when someone says these things to me, because I wouldn't dare tell someone to "stop eating" or to "go to the gym" or say they are "ill" because frankly - IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS!

There seems to be an abundance of people who seem to want to attack "skinny bitches", and the sad thing - like Cheryl said - is that it's mostly women on other women. Whatever happened to "girl power" and supporting others in a feminist act? Clearly that disappeared with Christina Aguilera and leather chaps in 2004 if my daily Instagram feed is anything to go by.

I'm quite active on Instagram as I promote my blog heavily on there, and I constantly read these thin-shaming posts posted by other women: "Real men like curves, only dogs go for bones".

Eh, what?

I'm no expert in the world of relationships, but I'd assume that if a guy is making an effort to go out with you and wants to be your boyfriend, the pivotal thing is that he should be attracted to your body shape. A "real" man or woman is someone who accepts people the way they are, and doesn't try to change them, and while I'm not saying you should go for someone you're simply not attracted to, surely apparance is a minor issue when it comes to choosing a mate, maybe even 10%? I feel a caring nature and a solid personality is much more important and are personally the things I would value the most in a potential boyfriend. If someone didn't want to be with me based on my body shape, I would just tell them what to do with themselves (that's a nice way of saying it!), there's more fish in the sea, etc etc. Plus, I find the term "dog" more than bit insulting and cannot believe in 2016 that this is even allowed to be printed as some sort of justification for skinny shaming and - worse still - used as an insult between women.

Whilst doing some research for this post, I came across this charming statement that basically implied that because women have a thigh gap it means they are promiscuous. Needless to say that that statement is complete and utter bullshit.

There's no denying that Meghan Trainor's 2014 hit All About That Bass was catchy as hell, but a closer listen to the lyrics showed that it involved some skinny shaming. Again, it's similar to what I've mentioned above about relationships and guys not finding girls that are slim appealing: "boys like a little booty to hold at night", but also constantly referring to slim women as "skinny bitches". Yes, it's quite right to disagree with the use of photo-shop to slim down women into an unrealistic body shape like is the norm in many "celebrity" magazines, but "bitches" is a bit too much in my opinion, and in case many of you may have forgotton, is actually an insult. This is a very concerning notion for me as young people are very influenced by music and lyrics and may believe that this is a true reflection of society, hence adding more fuel to the already burning out of control attack on slim women. I can't help but feel slightly uncomfortable on a drunken night out when this is played and everyone sings it loudly (though quite badly!) around me.

Another image I found online, from the drivel that is "Some E Cards", is the image you will see on the right. Well, where to start with this one?! I'm speechless to say the very least. I felt so angry at this incredibly warped notion that I actually sent a very strongly worded email to this company, whose E Cards I previously did think were humerous - I think it's absolutely beyond the realms of stupidity. The idea that slim women don't make good mothers is absolutely such a ridiculous concept that I'm not going to even expand on how it's all sorts of wrong! Also, to mention the Holocaust in these sort of greeting cards just adds further insult to injury. Girls such as myself being metabolically and genetically slim naturally is completely different to a sadistic event that claimed the lives of innocent million Jews, homeosexuals and disabled people across Europe and I find it horrendous that this company would state that they are similar. And I like to think when I do have a child someday, that I will be slim, not from "starving to death", but rather from working my arse off day and night to make sure they are provided with everything they might require!

I'd just like to clarify that this blogpost is really not an attack on any plus sized women, or any other woman in general. I'm really glad that plus sized women (and men!) are being treated equally in terms of working, fashion and society in general, like it should be. I'd also like to make it very clear that this is not a pro-anorexia blogpost; there is a difference between a girl who is naturally slim and someone who has a psychological disorder and intentionally restricts calories. But these preconceived idiotic notions and negative attitudes towards body figures really need to stop. We need to appreciate that every body is beautiful. Eat healthily, do some exercise if you want or have a pizza and slob on the couch if you want - whatever makes you happy. Just be happy in your own body, because when you're happy in your own skin, you don't have reason to hate on others, and that to me, is what truly makes you beautiful.

 

Hope you enjoyed this blogpost - thanks for reading! xx

Beauty - Real Techniques Core Collection Review

Hey everyone, and welcome back to Shelly Says So!

Just after finishing my semester one exams a few weeks ago, I decided to treat myself in Superdrug (not that I need much of an excuse to treat myself in Superdrug!) to these Real Techniques make up brushes. I follow a lot of bloggers online, and as a result I have heard so many good things about these brushes from other bloggers, so I decided to give them a go. They cost £20.99 in my local Superdrug, but they'll set you back €29.99 if you live in Ireland.

I bought the Core Collection, which consists of four brushes. From left to right, you have the contour brush, the pointed foundation brush, the detailer brush and the buffing brush. They come in a plastic outer packaging, attatched to a case which can be also used as a stand, which is very handy indeed.

First impressions: they look beautiful.
The gold colour is very pretty and they are super soft to the touch too. But less about the aesthetics and more about the function!

The contour brush, as you may have guessed, is said to be ideal for applying contour on your face. I think the slight precision point at the top of the brush allows the process to go more smoothly and it being super soft and lightweight means it's not an ordeal applying contour.

















The pointed foundation brush is supposed to work best with liquid foundations, which is the usual foundation I wear. I had been using Primark's foundation brush (which I'll review very shortly!), but since I had this, I wanted to try it out. As it's quite a small brush, I found it made the foundation application much more lengthy! Which is fine if you have plenty of time to spare in the mornings but alas, I never do (who even does?).  I wondered whether I was simply using it wrong, so I watched a video on www.realtechniques.com about how to use it. I wasn't, but it did take long and it said it is good for light application of foundation.





This again is completely fine if you're after a natural look but I just personally
prefer a medium layer of foundation. With all of this swiping around it also left so much more tell-tale brush strokes which immediately turned me off. I will say that it does work well to get into precision areas such as side of your nose. I started using it also to apply concealer, which it does work well with.








The detailer brush is the smallest and skinniest of the brushes in this set, and as you can guess, it is used mainly for precision applications in small areas. It can be used for applying concealer or lipstick for "long lasting shape and definition". However, I began using it in eye makeup to define my eye crease, and I couldn't believe how amazing it was! Definitely my favourite of all these brushes. The quality of this small brush even inspired me to purchase the other Real Techniques set made especially for eye makeup.



The buffing brush apparently works ideally with powder and mineral foundations. Since I have neither to test that theory out on, I decided to rebel slightly and use it for I for applying liquid foundation, and found that I really liked it. It's obviously a lot bigger than the pointed foundation brush so less time consuming. However I tend to go over the application with Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge (review of that product is HERE) to ensure the makeup application turned out flawless. I also used it for applying bronzer and blush, and find it works well then too.


So the question you've all been waiting to be answered: Are these brushes worth the price tag? Although reasonable by other beauty brush standards such as Mac, these are quite expensive. Although my opinion is bound to be controversial, I need to be honest about my review as I don't want my readers to be rushing out buying these, especialy with limited funds. I think that besides from the detailer brush which was ah-mazing, these guys are simply not worth twenty-odd bucks. Fifteen perhaps, but not twenty.

Fashion - Thrift Shops & My Tips for Shopping in them

Hi guys!

Even before I started my blog, I was always on the hunt for a bargain when it comes to shopping. One of the best places to find a bargain when it comes to clothes, shoes and books is thrift (or charity) shops. I know people may have negative opinions about shopping in thrift shops, but there's really nothing to be negative about when it comes to them. I've actually got some of the nicest dresses, skirts and tops from them over the years for very inexpensive prices, so I'd really encourage you to check out your local ones. Not only are you getting a bargain but you're supporting the charity too - guilt free shopping, yay!

I understand though that there's people that just don't know where to begin when it comes to shopping in them, and that's where Shelly Says So comes in with my advice on shopping in them. Some of these tips can also be applied to shopping in general. You're welcome! xo.

Tip No.1: Be patient!
As a rule, charity shops are as organised as can be but they're quite a different experience from shopping in Penneys (Primark for all my lovely British friends!) or New Look. In Penneys you walk in and you see a pretty dress. That pretty dress is all in different sizes, all on the same rail. However, it's quite a different story in  charity shops (with the exception being the British Heart Foundation here in Carlisle, everything is so organised). You see a pretty dress, but it's not in your size and on the same rail there could be up to thirty different dresses. It leads to expected frustration, so you must be patient. Rummage through rails like your life depends on it because you never know, the dress of your dreams could be stuck behind a load of other boring dresses....

Tip No.2: Know when something is a bargain or just shite! 
From personal experience even from shopping in the likes of Penneys, I know how easy it is to get swept up in the moment just because a product is a low price. Charity shop clothes are of good quality, there is no way anything would be allowed through their doors and put on a rail if they had holes in them where there wasn't supposed to be holes or were in need of rescue. But I've lost count of how many times I've fallen in love with what a dress looks like and the low price of it and abandon everything else that's important when it comes to selecting an item of clothing. Yes, it looked nice on the rail and was as cheap as chips, but when I came home and tried it on, wanting to wear it for a night out, I found that it just wasn't the right fit and was drawing attention to the parts of my body I'm insecure about. Therefore it was a mishap on my behalf and felt like money down the drain (a fiver doesn't seem like too much but when you're a student, a fiver is loads to spend and could have been used for other things (like alcomohol haha), and the dress never did get it's night out on the town.

Tip No.3: Think practical!
This kind of ties in with my second tip above, and it's a mishap I'm equally guilty of making when it comes to thrift shopping, as well as regular shopping. Again, I fall in love with a skirt, dying to wear it out, and then realise it doesn't go with anything else in my wardrobe whatsoever. I know fashion is all about experimentation, but fashion is also like a relationship; if it's a strange fabric/material/colour it could be difficult for it to get on and work well with the rest of your clothes. Same thing applies if you have a million of the same type of clothing at home. If you already have a LBD at home that you barely wear as it is don't bring another one home with you - no matter how cheap it is - to hog further valuable space in your wardrobe.

Tip No.4: Try to not get disheartened. 
It's happened to me many times. I walk in one week to a charity shop and I come out with a bagful of bargains, the next week I go into the same one and I'm lucky if I find a book in it I want to read. It's often a matter of luck and being there at the right day and at the right time. Anyways, shopping should be fun, and shopping in charity shops is even more fun, if you let it be that way. This may be a sign I'm getting old, but I enjoy nothing more than spending an afternoon browsing through the rails, even better if I have a friend with me and we can laugh at some of the items for sale in the shop (High School musical calendar from 2005, anyone?). It's such a good feeling when you finally get a good bargain that you weren't expecting that it's well worth it.

Tip No.5: Wash the clothes!
Like I've mentioned already, charity shop clothing is at a very high standard. You'll never walk in and see clothes with vomit or any other bodily fluid on them, but they do have quite a strange smell that obviously transfers to the clothes, so I always wash the clothes after I purchase them, just to make sure all smells are off them and they smell fresh and fancy for your nights or days out.

So here are a few of my charity shop bargains!!

Flowery Dress: NCBI (National Council for the Blind Ireland), Ballina, Co. Mayo, Ireland. Cost €5.

Polka dot Dress (by AX Paris)
: Oxfam Dublin, €5.

 

Polka dot dress (by AX Paris):
 Oxfam in Dublin, €5.

Shorts: 50c (NCBI, Ballina, Co. Mayo, Ireland).

Beauty - W7 In the Nude Review and Look

Hi everyone, and welcome back to my blog! :) Happy Friday!

So I was looking through my blog posts Wednesday night and realised it has been a while since I did a makeup tutorial for you guys. Most of my blog posts centre around what I wore but not really much emphasis on the makeup side of things. I really enjoy doing these tutorials, so I decided to do one for you yesterday early in the morning, as usually when I finish university it's dark. Gotta take advantage of that good lighting, yo!

Today's tutorial features a makeup palette I actually have with a while. It is by the British brand W7 and is called 'In the Nude'. If you're wondering whether it's something like you've seen before, you'd be right! W7 have a range of eyeshadow palettes all supposed to be affordable dupes (inexpensive versions) of Urban Decay Naked palettes. This guy is supposed to the dupe for the Naked 3, but they have ones for the Naked 1 and 2, as well as Naked Basics. I've never used any W7 products previous to this but I had heard good things about them.

As you can see below, the packaging is more or less the same and the eyeshadow shades look nearly identical, if not the same.

There is a huge difference in the price however. While the Urban Decay palettes would set you back at least €50 (around thirty pounds), I picked up this In The Nude palette in the summer back home in Ireland for €8.49 (about six pounds). They are widely avaliable here in the UK, somewhat more difficult to source in Ireland though they are avaliable to buy online on Amazon and Ebay. The quality of the W7 palette, contrary to what you may believe, is actually quite reasonable. No, they won't last all day without a primer, but hey, what eyeshadow will?

Before I begin with the tutorial, I'd just like to say that I am by no means a professional. I am currently studying to become an occupational therapist, not a makeup artist. I'm just a normal everyday girl who enjoys playing around with makeup and having fun with the whole process.










 Credit: anzellelew.blogspot.com.


Firstly, this is what I looked like with no makeup on. My skin is relatively good at the moment; I still am prone to redness and horrible dryness but for the most part, I'm happy with it!

1. First step in this tutorial was to prime my skin. My skin is really dry so I used Simple Kind to Skin Light hydrating moisturiser (£4.19/€5, review of that product is HERE). I recently re-bought this product and was a bit disappointed; it has changed the smell ever so slightly and it is slightly odd, really like suncream! Then I used Rimmel Fix and Perfect Primer (£6.99/€8.99, review of that product is HERE). Last week I popped on primer without moisturiser and it left a horrible stinging sensation on my face as my skin was so dry, so I'd really recommend using the moisturiser first. I then applied some Maybelliene Baby Lips (£2.99/€3.99), to my lips to moisturise them, but I use coconut oil a lot to moisturise them too.









2. When that was absorbed into my skin, I applied a thin layer of Rimmel match perfection foundation (£7.99/€9.99, review HERE). If your skin is in relatively good shape, there's no need to apply heaps of foundation, trust me! The brush I used to apply this was Primark's own brand foundation brush, I will be doing a review of these soon. I prefer to wait till all eye makeup is done before setting my makeup so I skipped powder for now.

3. Concealer next. I used two concealers. Rimmel Wake Me Up (£5.49/€6.99, review of that product is HERE) on any redness, and Collection Lasting Perfection (£3.99/€4.75), to highlight the areas under my eyes. Both applied with a Primark beauty concealer brush.

 3. Eyebrows was the next step. I filled in my eyebrows using my trusty Primark eyebrow kit (review of that is HERE). As you can tell by the packaging, I use it a lot! The brush I used was a double sided eyeshadow brush with a sponge tip, I just don't like these brushes in applying eyeshadow but they work for eyebrows!

4. Now for the star event: the eyeshadows. I applied latte, a nude, neutral colour just under my eyebrows to highlight them, using latte, the first shade on the left of the palette.

Next I applied copper pot, a deeper, vintage pink, all over my eyelid using a fluffy eyeshadow brush, these wooden ones were bought off Ebay. Using this same brush, I applied second colour from left, Angel, a sparkly pink, to my inner eyelid.

Then I applied Alice, a matte pink into my crease using one end of an eyeshadow brush from Primark. How much time and product you use here will really depend on how you defined you wish for your crease to be. I also applied some of Alice on my lower lashline.

I blended Alice out using Marilyn, a pink, yet slightly nude, using another one of my Ebay brushes. It's quite similar to Alice, only difference is it is slightly darker.

I applied Fashionista (a black eyeshadow with red sparkles, just shows up black though), about half way up into my crease, using my Real Techniques 'Detailer Brush' from their core collection set, slightly winging this out to form a shadow eyeliner.

Brushes used in the eye makeup (from left to right):
Slanted fluffy eyeshadow brush and fluffy eyeshadow brush, both from a set on Ebay.
Real Techniques 'Detailer Brush', as part of the 'Core Collection' set.
Double ended eyeshadow brush, Primark.









5. Now to add some extra drama at night time, if you wish you can add some false eyelashes. I decided to use the Revlon Intensifeye volumising eyelashes. I bought these in a multi-pack of four at where I work, Home Bargains, for £1.99. They didn't come with eyelash glue however so I had to use a Primark eyelash glue I found at the bottom of my makeup bag - desperate times cause for desperate measures! I applied these using my Revlon tweezers (bought in Superdrug a few months back, for about a fiver). Don't fear if you've no idea how to apply false eyelashes, I will be writing up a blogpost about application plus which eyelashes I have tried out. I then applied some Essence I <3 Extreme Crazy Volume Mascara (£2.80/€3.49, you can buy Essence in Wilko in the UK btw), to help blend my real eyelashes in with my falsies.























6. Now to finish off the rest of my face! I set my face using Rimmel Stay Matte powder (£3.99/€5.99) and then applied Primark loose powder (£1.50/€2) over areas where I'm prone to oily skin. Both were applied using my fluffy Primark blusher brush.

7. Blusher was next. Make Up Gallery  Blush in Soft Blush 1 (£1/€1.79, see review of this product HERE), again using a Primark makeup brush, but this was from a previous range.

 8. Highlighter used was Makeup Revolution Vivid Baked Highlighter in 'Peach Lights' (£3), using an Ebay contour brush. I only bought this recently and I adore it! So pretty and sparkly, though you'd never think it with my crappy phone camera....

9. Last but not least, lips. I applied Catrice Lasting lipgloss (I think it's called that, the label has disappeared...). It's a pinkish nude which wouldn't distract from the strong eye make up look. I bought this back home in Ireland when I was back for Christmas for about five euro. Catrice is unfortunately not available in the UK (but it really needs to be!). It's available to buy on Ebay, but it's way more expensive on there (sob!).

And there you have it, the finished look! Hope you enjoyed this blogpost tutorial. Any questions, fire away!xxx